Tom Petty R.I.P.

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Trigger warning: less than fulsome praise for the recently-deceased contained below.

It’s not I’m not saddened by Tom’s passing, and the suddenness of it. Cardiac arrest days after concluding a wildly successful world tour is admittedly a totally rock and roll way to go for a guy who had a Springsteen-esque belief in the mystic power of rock and roll (Tom’s may have predated Bruce’s) but it is still cardiac arrest and 66 is way too young. He had two wives, three kids, bandmates he managed to stay close to for over 40 years, plus more rabid fans than I’d have anticipated. He deserved a reposeful old age producing records for less-successful artists he admired and overseeing a box set and coffee table book. I offer my condolences and join those family, fans, and bandmates all in a full-throated singalong to the chorus of “Free Falling” in tribute and appreciation.

My problem is that I never liked “Free Falling” very much, nor really anything Tom did after “Damn the Torpedoes” except “The Waiting” (which was supposed to be on “Damn the Torpedos” anyway). I heard the songs on the radio, sometimes they were fun (“Stop Dragging My Heart Around”) and sometimes annoying (“Don’t Come Around Here Anymore”) but mostly they landed on me with a shrug, okay, here’s another Tom Petty song that sounds like a lot of others (“Learning to Fly,” “Great Wide Open,” etc.) I bought “Wildflowers” based on early reviews, listened to it a few times through, shrugged, and ended up giving it away to Morgan Memorial during the music purge phase of my last move.

“Damn the Torpedoes” though: so many college evenings with it playing in the background! So many drunken singalongs to it with my high school friends during the summer of 1980! Ah, okay, side two trails off a little but the snarl of “Refugee”! The marble-mouthed-verse-ecstatic-release-chorus of “Here Comes My Girl”! The dumb fun bounce of “Don’t Do Me Like That” and (a personal favorite) the guy in “Even the Losers” trying to restore his pride after a shattering break-up, howling words to an empty street he wishes he was saying to his absent lover!

When you fall so hard for something, and then the artist (in your mind) never lives up to it again: there’s a disappointment there. Clearly not Tom’s fault, as shown by those rabid fans mentioned above, for whom the newer stuff must have connected in a way it didn’t with me.

Still love Tom for “Damn the Torpedoes,” and will still feel sad the next time (next 200 times) “Free Falling” comes on the radio. Even when the material was weak the guy knew how to make it sound great on the radio. Track down if you can a live concert on Wolfgang’s Vault of Tom and the Heartbreakers playing the Paradise in Boston in Fall of 1979, just before “Torpedoes’ was released. Magic.

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Recent Songs #5

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This week’s theme: boy problems, and how even girls with plenty of attitude can have ’em!

  1. “In Undertow,” Alvvays
    A gorgeous, swirly mini-masterpiece, “sad by shiny” as lead singer/songwriter Molly Rankin said in a World Cafe interview paraphrasing a fan describing the band’s sound. The lyrics are a sympathetic lecture to a boyfriend who’s messed up: “You made a mistake you’d like to erase/And I understand.” The singer might understand but it doesn’t sound like she’s giving much quarter. She knows their relationship is “in undertow,” that hanging-on-with-cold-dead-fingers end time before the final break, but it sounds like she doesn’t think the guy is aware of that and is trying to break it to him gently. Jackson Browne used to write songs like this from the other side of the gender gap.
  2. “Sparks Fly,” Waxahatchee.
    In this one the singer’s estranged by emotion and distance. She calls her boyfriend from Berlin with regrets about a mean thing she said to him, but maybe the regret isn’t about the truth of the thing itself but in having said it aloud. Why is she regretting anything? Why is she missing anyone? She’s young, she’s in another country, she doesn’t have to be that sadsack girlfriend! So she goes out and has a few drinks and then a sudden vision of herself as alive, electric, better. Sure, the same sparks flew when she was with the guy but he never recognized it, and wouldn’t be able to appreciate it now. When she gets home they will have a long talk.
  3. “Out-Worn,” Soccer Mommy.
    Like Katie Crutchfield (singer/songwriter of Waxahatchee) above, Sophie Allison (singer-songwriter of Soccer Mommy) is chafing against the limits put on her by a relationship and a guy: “I’m sick of living in your eyes.” He’s sweet when he wants to be and so far that’s been enough but maybe now it isn’t anymore. “You made your love like a forest fire/I wanted someone to keep me warm,” the singer says, and based on personal experience she will go back and forth about which of these to want for the rest of her life. Where she lands will many times have only a passing connection to the  guy in question. Great whispered-into-a-microphone-in-the-middle-of-the-night feel to this one, and very catchy chorus.
  4. “No Guarantees,” Jade Jackson.
    Another case of smart girl, bad choices, but this time with a fiddle! On the run from another unfaithful, unstable man, metaphorically in the first verse:

     I’m somewhere in second gear
     I’m using my knees to steer
     Arms stretched to a bluer sky
     Learning to leave our love behind

    …but by the third literally in flight on the road with a girlfriend in the same situation, Jade the hardened older sister of a shattered Molly or Katie or Sophie a few months on from when their independence-day songs ended and the hard stuff has started. They drink Arizona iced teas and eat sunflower seeds and smoke cigarettes in the dark. They each grapple privately with the realization there are no guarantees in love. The both know the coastline they finally arrive at isn’t going to change that.

Empty Nest Songs

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Dropped my only child off at college this weeek, which is one of those things that is not a big deal (inevitable rite of passage, proof you’ve done your job as a parent, etc.) unless you are the one doing it. Some songs that have been helping me though:

  1. “Going Down to Laurel,” Steve Forbert.
    The best expression I know of the youthful bravado and confidence I want my son to be feeling on he embarks on this great adventure, the sense of being glad to be young, glad to be alive, ready to take on all comers. “I’m going down to Laurel, it’s a dirty stinking town/But me I know exactly what I’m going to find.”
  2. “A New Name for Everything,” the Weakerthans.
    Advice I’d want to give him when that youthful bravado and confidence falter, the main thing being to be cautious around advice: “Fire every phrase/They don’t want to work for us anymore.”  “If you come back, bring a new name for everything”–that’s what college is for!
  3. “My Old School,” Steely Dan.
    I’m on record as not being a huge Steely Dan Fan, but this is a great song, and one of the few in the rock and roll canon that will admit to having spent time in college. It gets the details right: “I was smoking with the boys upstairs/When I heard about the whole affair.” It also epitomizes the type of snarky, superior cynicism most of us cultivate and leave behind in school, though Steely Dan never did grow out of it. Everything can be made fun of, and should be! (RIP Walter Becker.)
  4. “Waiting for the Great Leap Forward,” Billy Bragg.
    On the other hand: what shouldn’t be made fun of? College politicized me, though I never did much about it in terms of protests and picket lines. Even at a young age those sorts of group actions didn’t seem to me to make much difference. I’ve been proven wrong many times, so now I say man the barricades for what counts, buddy, and find some friends who will help make the great leap forward finally happen! (Unless of course your politics turn out to be the opposite of mine, in which case we can just argue over the dinner table during breaks.)
  5. “Better Things,” Dar Williams.
    The most hopeful song I know, it’ll do as my envoi for the last 18+ years and salutation for the next 70. “Accept your life and what it brings/I know tomorrow you’ll find better things.” Written by grumpy old man Ray Davies, and though I like his version I prefer Dar’s, who also has her grumpy side though not here. The urgent acoustic guitar figure reminds me of my son in his new dorm room trying to hide his impatience as we were saying goodbye. Guys, I love you, it’s been great, but time to get on with it!

“Wandering Boy,” Randy Newman

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A grand weeper from Randy’s new album.

A man is on a doorstep saying goodbye to his hosts after a party. It’s an annual party, one he’s been to many times before. A holiday party, say, we’ve been having one of those for 25 years. He’s come to the party with his father; he’s come to the party with his wife; he’s come with his sons and daughters. Tonight he’s here alone but still wishing in these waning moments for the miracle appearance of his youngest son:

Where is my wandering boy tonight
Where is my wandering boy
If you see him, push him toward the light
Where is my wandering boy

There must be 20 songs that feature the phrase “wandering boy,” Irish songs, country songs, an old Carter Family tune. Maybe the man is a songwriter himself, and is familiar with these songs. Maybe the phrase itself gives him some comfort, lends a familiarity and continuity to something he can’t come to grips with.

The man launches into a story about his absent son, remember the time he jumped off the diving board, five years old, laughing like a maniac, Jesus Christ, that kid had no fear! His hosts nod: they have other guests to attend to, they’ve heard the story before. The man has had a few drinks but isn’t so drunk he doesn’t notice the impatience in their eyes. Again, great party, he says. See you next year. But as he drives home he can’t keep his mind from circling back to the son who didn’t show up:

I hope he’s warm and I hope he’s dry
And a stranger’s eye is a friendly eye
And I hope he has someone there by his side
And I hope that he’ll come home

I had a colleague at work whose son was Narcan’d twice in the nine months our project lasted. The first time I was shaken when he told me, I didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry, my therapist told me to be honest with people,” he said when he noticed my awkwardness. “The kid does enough lying for the whole family.” The second time the colleague let me know in an email. “Was in the hospital all night, Nathan od’d again. Will be in a little late.” I was more prepared to offer sympathy this time but he waved it away. “He’s going to kill himself. I’ve told him, my wife told him, the doctor told him. He doesn’t listen. Not a thing we can do to stop it.”

Maybe that’s not what the song is about. Maybe this guy’s son is just doing a junior year abroad or something. Still a sad song.

“The State I Am In,” Belle and Sebastian

I went to see these guys a week or so ago, accompanied by my son who is heading off for college in September. It was an ordeal to get there, traffic, weather, parking, but the show was great. There were songs from every phase of the band’s 21-year career (Stuart Murdoch, the lead singer/songwriter, mentioned that since they were 21 they could do anything they wanted) and apart from individual highlights like “Another Sunny Day” and this song, what I appreciated most was how much fun Stuart seemed to be having, how much he seemed to be enjoying his own songs, even the sad ones. A man and his catalog!

At one point he wandered into the audience and returned with about 50 people trailing him back up on stage, mostly women who looked exactly like Belle and Sebastian fangirls should look (use your imagination). Stuart danced with them for two songs and then called them all into a huddle so loved ones in the audience could take a group shot. At that point traffic, weather, and parking were all pretty much forgiven.

They sang this as the last song in the set and of the night. (I think there was supposed to be an encore but the opener Andrew Bird went on too long and they ran out of time.) When it began two little girls, maybe 8-10 years old, who I’d noticed earlier sitting with their parents a few rows back came up near the stage and started sway-dancing together. My son next to me was sway-dancing himself, when not snapchatting (he promised not to mention me), and I thought of how I’d bought Tigermilk, the album the song comes from, when it was generally released in 1999, the year he was born. He was a fussy baby (understatement!) but the album seemed to calm him. We’d put it on and rock him in our arms around the living room:

I gave myself to sin
I gave myself to Providence
Been there and back again
The state that I am in

What’s it about? Love, resilience, accommodation, not taking even the serious things too seriously. (We must have all heard that “I gave myself to God/There was a pregnant pause before he said okay” line a thousand times, but it still got a laugh in concert.) Mostly though: the circle of life. Or maybe its necessary passages. Can you tell I’m in a mood?

Recent Songs #4

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This week, new songs by familiar voices…kind of a boy’s club, sorry about that!

  1. “What’s That Perfume You Wear?” Jens Lekman. As usual the girl is “gone forever” by the time we enter the picture but her perfume lingers on like “the promise of something sweet that could never be.” The whole CD is sorta icky sentimental like that but in this case the slick dance-y production helps the song rise above it. Love the second verse about remembering his girlfriend coming out a hotel shower smelling of expensive shampoo. (The slick dance-y production works less well on the songs about male friendship, which is a brave and unusual topic to take on but they are also sorta icky sentimental in execution.)
    ***
  2. “If We Were Vampires,” Jason Isbell. Gorgeous meditation on love and mortality that finds time for a joke about taking up smoking if you knew you were never going to die. “Your questions like directions to the truth,” what a heck of a nice thing to say to someone, and I keep singing the “Maybe time running out is a gift/I’ll work hard until the end of my shift” couplet in my head. It’s the standout track on the new album, which is better (in my mind) than “Something More than Free” but nowhere near “Southeastern.” There’s a familiarity about the themes (country boy out of place in the city, guy stuck in his dead-end town, teenage love not holding up to the passage of time) that the striking phrases and passionate singing don’t totally erase. On the other hand the songs where Jason tries most to stretch are the worst (“White Man’s World,” “Anxiety”). So that is not a good sign.
    ***
  3. “Leaving LA,” Father John Misty. Third in a row here of disappointing new albums. A hipster railing at himself for falling in love was so much more compelling than a hipster railing at the world for craving entertainment to distract them from their empty lives. This song, though, has that combination of self-loathing and other-loathing with a fragile trust in love to redeem both tendencies that made “Honeybear’ such an interesting listen. I wouldn’t call this an interesting listen, necessarily–I find I need to take a deep breath before I put it on, here’s my brilliant friend again who’s going to talk my ear off–but the suffocation is part of the point I suppose. Is Father John really so famous that he can rail against being famous? The beginning of the beginning of the end of his career he sees toward the end sounds kind of accurate; I’m not sure how much of the rest of the ride I’ll stick around for. As we Philip Roth fans know, that you can anticipate every possible criticism of your work doesn’t make those criticisms any less valid.
    ***
  4. “Some Things Just Don’t Change,” Little Steven. Here is a familiar but horrible voice. All right, it’s not that bad but there’s no question Southside Johnny sang this better back in 1977 (and probably yesterday at some beach casino show). Still, Steven wrote it and it’s a great lost song, worth hearing again. In Rolling Stone Steven summed up this sound “soul horns meet rock guitar” and wondered why he didn’t write more songs like it. Probably because it was so frustrating to watch his buddy Bruce churn out five of them as a warm-up exercise to writing the day’s “real” songs, and three of those five were as good as Steve’s best. Kind of thing has to take a psychic toll.
    ***
  5. “Postcard from Paris,” Glen Campbell. Talk about icky sentimental! And those background vocals! But I first heard it after a couple of drinks and it just killed me. Holds up sober but may make you want to pour yourself a glass of something, it has that kind of stoic melancholy that’s a lightning rod for all manner of regrets not directly related to the lyrics. Written by John Denver and I will take it at face value and not indulge in my own icky sentimentality and bring in the Alzheimer’s backstory. I’m sure you can find that on another blog out there.